Well, it's been quite a busy weekend, what with running (walking mostly) for AVM and Traumatic Brain Injury Awareness on a 10K route on Saturday morning and then watching General Conference the rest of the day , and then spending most of today on a bus returning home. Since I was not able to write poems for these two days, I thought that I'd post two of my older poems about my experience with AVM in honor of yesterday's event. The first one is called Novelties Like Ocean Sand. This is pretty much a venting poem, touching on how I felt when my former friends had steered clear of me because they could not handle the way I was while recovering from GammaKnife. I can understand nowadays that I probably made them uncomfortable.
The second poem is Missing Pieces which pretty much sums up the beginning years of my AVM being found, treated, and my recovery from treatment. I wanted to end this post with something a little more positive.
Oh, and I am doing much better these days. :-)
Novelties Like Ocean Sand
With your novelties like ocean sand
How quickly do they wash away
I smile, greet you but you keep yourself at bay
Time ago you thought my survival something grand
Once you had offered a helping hand
Sent cards saying for me you will pray
With your novelties like ocean sand
How quickly do they wash away
And now the very sight of me you cannot stand
Though my life, my old self surgery could not save
I fight this battle of emotion every day
To grasp this long road to recovery you won't give a chance
With your novelties like ocean sand
© L. Verella 2013
Missing Pieces (Rebuilt)
Unimaginable pains are felt one which I had never dealt
A strong face I put on for everyone nonetheless
While thinking each day the pain could end it may
How funny it is that I thought I knew best!
Hemorrhaged rupture took place thought I’d soon see Heaven’s face
Then I awaken to learn that radiation procedure that saved me
To be alive I am glad just wish that I had
Been aware of the tough upcoming journey
Numerous emotions overflow well beyond my control
Tears, anger, fears uncontrollably friends now deserting me
One battle was just won now a new one has begun
Cerebral hemorrhage gone but the one in my heart hurts greatly
Physically healed be I may yet still broken in many ways
I see pieces of me so low on this ground
What time it would take for the repair work to take place
Searching for the strength inside me to be found
Slowly with care I take my time to repair
My being as I take it day by day
Then month by month it leads to year by year with these deeds
Slowly getting back to me I am on my way
As I near completeness I notice a few missing pieces
That I will never be the same as before it reminds
But now with a whole heart still those missing pieces can be filled
With new attributes within me which I will soon find
© L. Verella 2013
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