OctPoWriMo Day Three - Beacuse of You

The prompt for day three is "sweet." The question was, "What brings sweetness to your life?" I spent my commute to work pondering this. What does bring sweetness in my life? Is it desserts? Was it the road trips that I used to take with my friend Joe? Was it the long quiet nature walks I would take during the weekend? I created a list in my mind, and  (all of these things do bring sweetness in my life) I realized what brings the biggest sweetness in my life are my friends who are my fellow AVM Survivors. I call them my AVM Survivor Family. My sixth anniversary as an AVM was on September 15th, and my AVM Survivor Family was there to remind me of who I am, and that I am more than my disability. It helps me to quiet the voices of others that tells me that I am stupid and pathetic.

The poem is written in a Swap Quatrain. I may edit it or add to it since I feel that there's more that could be added to it. Then again, I feel that way about most of the poems that I write.

I hope you enjoy.

Because of You

For so long I've searched for a safe place
Some understanding, a friendly face
A place where one like me can belong
I've searched for a safe place for so long

Much much rejection I always find
When I ache for comfort in this difficult time
If I am worth loving I often question
I always find much much rejection


You come along out of the blue, out of nowhere
Among the crowd where no one seems to care
 You help me to break that façade of strong
Out of the blue, out of nowhere you come along

Throughout all of my faults and flaws you loved me
You opened my heart and eyes so I can see
The person I truly am, which you always saw
You loved me throughout all of my faults and flaws

You helped me to repair my broken being
Find love for myself which was ever so freeing
I learned to see what what was truly there
My broken being you helped me to repair

My disability I am so much more than
There's many qualities I have which are grand
How can I thank you for helping me to see
I am so much more than my disability?

Because of you I have the strength to go on
In this recovery that does seem so long
Now shattered are those lies that say I'm pathetic and obtuse
I have the strength to go on because of you

- LWV

Crystal Hearts - NaPoWriMo, Day Seven

For day seven of NaPoWriMo, the challenge was to write a love poem about an inanimate object which was tough. I decided to write about these crystal heart ornaments that I had seen when I first moved to the desert of Twenty-Nine Palms, California. I loved how those ornaments made little rainbow prisms upon the through the sunlight. As a child I loved rainbows, because to me they were a sign of hope, right after the storm. I wanted to incorporate that into the poem. Here's my attempt.

Crystal Hearts

Hanging little crystal hearts which once bought me smiles
Through sunbeams creating pastel rainbows on my walls
Prism colors on my wall that comforts me for a good while
Hanging little crystal hearts which once brought me smiles
Once hanging from my window in a bohemian kind of style
Many of times had I appreciated the beauty of it all
Hanging little crystal hearts which once bought me smiles
Through sunbeams creating pastel rainbows on my walls

LVW 4/7/14

Novelties Like Ocean Sand and Missing Pieces (Rebuilt) - NaPoWriMo Days 5 and 6

Well, it's been quite a busy weekend, what with running (walking mostly) for AVM and Traumatic Brain Injury Awareness on a 10K route on Saturday morning and then watching General Conference the rest of the day , and then spending most of today on a bus returning home. Since I was not able to write poems for these two days, I thought that I'd post two of my older poems about my experience with AVM in honor of yesterday's event. The first one is called Novelties Like Ocean Sand. This is pretty much a venting poem, touching on how I felt when my former friends had steered clear of me because they could not handle the way I was while recovering from GammaKnife. I can understand nowadays that I probably made them uncomfortable.

The second poem is Missing Pieces which pretty much sums up the beginning years of my AVM being found, treated, and my recovery from treatment. I wanted to end this post with something a little more positive.

Oh, and I am doing much better these days. :-)


 Novelties Like Ocean Sand
With your novelties like ocean sand
How quickly do they wash away
I smile, greet you but you keep yourself at bay
Time ago you thought my survival something grand
Once you had offered a helping hand
Sent cards saying for me you will pray
With your novelties like ocean sand
How quickly do they wash away
And now the very sight of me you cannot stand
Though my life, my old self surgery could not save
I fight this battle of emotion every day
To grasp this long road to recovery you won't give a chance
With your novelties like ocean sand

 © L. Verella 2013


Missing Pieces (Rebuilt)
Unimaginable pains are felt one which I had never dealt
A strong face I put on for everyone nonetheless
While thinking each day the pain could end it may
How funny it is that I thought I knew best!
Hemorrhaged rupture took place thought I’d soon see Heaven’s face
Then I awaken to learn that radiation procedure that saved me
To be alive I am glad just wish that I had
Been aware of the tough upcoming journey
Numerous emotions overflow well beyond my control
Tears, anger, fears uncontrollably friends now deserting me
One battle was just won now a new one has begun
Cerebral hemorrhage gone but the one in my heart hurts greatly
Physically healed be I may yet still broken in many ways
I see pieces of me so low on this ground
What time it would take for the repair work to take place
Searching for the strength inside me to be found
Slowly with care I take my time to repair
My being as I take it day by day
Then month by month it leads to year by year with these deeds
Slowly getting back to me I am on my way
As I near completeness I notice a few missing pieces
That I will never be the same as before it reminds
But now with a whole heart still those missing pieces can be filled
With new attributes within me which I will soon find 

© L. Verella 2013

 

Catching Dreams - NaPoWriMo, Day 3

Here is my post for NaPoWriMo. The challenge of the day  was to write about a charm in the style of a fairy tale...which is not my forte, but here is my attempt. I decided to write about the Dreamcather.  The poetic form that I used is called a Pantoum.

Catching Dreams

Now may you rest on, my sleepy child

Not one nightmare shall come into your mind

So rest, along with the sun while it sets for a while

Nothing but sweet dreams will you find

Not one nightmare shall come into your mind

The Dreamcather will catch them before they come

Nothing but sweet dreams will you find

Nightmares will stay in the net till the night is done

The Dreamcather shall catch them before they come

Within its web will those bad thoughts stay

Nightmares will stay in the net till the night is done

Then they will vanish at the break of day

Within its web will those bad thoughts stay

So rest, along with the sun while it sets for a while

Then they will vanish at the break of day

Now may you rest on, my sleepy child

- LWV 4/3/14

Amaterasu, Shining in Heaven - NaPoWriMo, Day 2

What I love about challenges like NaPoWriMo and OctPoWriMo (October Poetry Writing Month) is that those challenges gives me a chance to learn something new, and to find something new to write about. That is something that I appreciate, considering that I am always looking for something new to write about since getting past Writer's Block.

Today's poetry prompt was to write a poem based on a myth or a legend. I decided to write about Amaterasu (which means shining in heaven), who was a sun goddess. I enjoyed reading up on her and her story, and how she is honored every twenty year. I tried to sum up her life story in a Rondel. It be rewritten to include more of her story. 
Enjoy! :-)

Amaterasu, Shining in Heaven

But behold! Have you seen her light?
Amaterasu, she shines in the heavens
Born of Izanagi, after his benight
Born of a time of his purification

At the time of dayspring is she in sight
Faith affirmed she will be seen as day begins
But behold! Have you seen her light?
Amaterasu, she shines in the heavens

For a short-lived time she leaves the heavens
Her world consumed by sea, now begins her plight
Within walls she hides, her brilliance not in sight
At last, she returns to us through One's persuasion
But behold! Have you seen her light?

- LWV 4/2/2014

September in the Rain (With Memories) - NaPoWriMo, Day 1

So NaPoWriMo had begun and I begin the month with a headache, hindering the creative process.I did not want the day to pass without writing a poem so I decided to write a Triolet inspired by a Gypsy Jazz instrumental version of "September in the Rain." Enjoy. :-)

September in the Rain (with Memories)
 
September in the rain with memories
You walk with me and take my hand
We walk along The Champs-Élysées
September in the rain with memories
You hold me close as the rain falls gently
A stolen moment for us, a time once grand
September in the rain with memories
You walk with me and take my hand 
 
- LWV 4/1/2014