October Poetry Writing Month, Day Eight: Color Me Blue

Today's prompt was to choose a color and write what memories are inspired from it. I decided to take a different approach and choose a color and write what comes to mind. My favorite color being blue, I decided to choose that. I hope you enjoy it.
This is a draft, so critiques are welcomed.

Color Me Blue

Color me blue
Blue as this big bright clear sky
Endless skies setting my sights high
Makes me wonder how far I can go in life
If my destiny is beyond all that I know
Color me dreamy. Color me hopeful.

Color me blue
Blue as these ever moving seas
Strong, unstoppable and such a beauty
And although their waves crash to and fro
Its sounds never fail to calm my soul
 Waves that sparkle continuously
Color me cool. Color me serene.

It colors me
Cool, calm as bright clear sky
Where I will keep directing my eyes
When I have those sweet reveries
And hope that they'll come true for me

It colors me
Placid like the strong yet gentle ocean
Tranquil matching my emotions
That's the woman that I've grown into
Aspects relating to the color blue

It colors me free
It colors me...me

-LWV

Image from Flickr

October Poetry Writing Month, Day Five: The stepmonster

The prompt for today was to capture a relationship or a feeling. Today, I decided to write about my father's ex-girlfriend with whom I did not have a good relationship with when they were together. She loved my brothers and sang their praises, but I doubt that she loved me. I just have memories of her badmouthing me to my face and behind my back. As well as broadcasting my mistakes and shortcomings to anyone who was nearby.  I think the only time she had positive feelings towards me was when I graduated High School.
 I spent years trying to make myself into someone that was worthy of her love, put myself through a lot mentally and emotionally trying to do so, until she and my father had broken up.
I could not "show" our relationship, but I just wrote down the words as they had come to mind.

The stepmonster





All I wanted was a mother to love
And maybe love me back
A mother to feel the empty space I have
Is that too much to ask for?

With my teen-aged self
Still trying to figure herself out
I realized that I had to work hard to qualify
 To be worth some kind of
Positive acknowledgement

"You're not going anywhere with me wearing that baseball jacket."
"And you want to like boys?
And have them like you?"
"What guy would want to like a girl wearing tattered jeans?
And an old 1970's shirt?"
"You really ought to wear dresses.
That's what a lady is SUPPOSED to do!"

"Goodness, you're pathetic!"

"You always walk around looking stupid!"

 "You're in pain? Stop shaking about and deal with it!
It's not all that bad."
(She smacked me as she said that.
It had taken everything for me to not cry at that moment.)

 
I was afraid of saying anything
Or do anything

To prove that I was a mature adult
BUT I'M JUST A FREAKING TEENAGER!

To be  worthy of her love
I had to be anyone by myself

I watched as she always hugged my brothers
Sung their praises
And to her, I did not even exist
But that was only when she
Felt the need to point out my bad habits and qualities
My shortcomings
Instead of telling me how I could improve or grow

Gosh, I wanted to love her
I wanted her to love me
I do not think she ever did

That's the story of my stepmonster
No, I will not even refer to her as my "Stepmother"
She was never any mother of mine
Of ANY kind

- LWV

 

October Poetry Writing Month, Day Three: Numb

Day three, and I finally feel like I'm being more productive in my writing which is a relief. I was fearful that Writer's Block might keep me from continuing on throughout this month, and I intend to not let that happen.

The prompt for today was to write about what drains me. I decided to go back six years while I was in hardest part of my recovery from surgery to obliterate my Cerebral AVM rupture. So, yes, this is another AVM poem. The first two years was the hardest. Being in emotional pain, sometimes physical pain and having to go throughout the day for work and Church like nothing is wrong. This and the recovery left me numb and drained. Luckily, years later, I am doing better.

As always, critiques are welcomed.

Numb

5:47 am reads my clock as I awaken to see I am alive
"X" another day on the calendar since I had survived
Wow...survival...that word now has a different meaning
Strength, survival those words just are not convening
A Survivor! Where is the strength that comes from becoming one?
Maybe that along with myself and my spirit is long gone
A lost and pained little girl now lives inside me
 I do not want to go out there with nothing to guide me
Much rather do I want to stay inside and just hide
Man, man oh man! Is this what it means to survive?
My body no longer feels like it is my own
Much plagued by pains that stings to the bone
So badly do I want to cry by the tears will not come
This room so dark and cold, matches me, so dark so numb
No friendly face, no understanding nearby can be known
But I'll have to find my own strength, do this on my own

- LWV

October Poetry Writing Month, Day Two: That Picture

Today's challenge was to write a cinematic poem. The exercise was to watch a favorite music video in mute (and no captions) and see what can be inspired. With a busy day at work and commuting to and from, I thought that I'd write about pictures...but in a different way.
Again, critiques are welcome.


That Picture

There had never been a prettier day
Or a much better time that year
Two years ago today...

I had that picture put away
In an old shoe box, on a shelf
But you will always find it
Framed in the loveliest frosted glass frame

That picture holds so many memories
Captured in frozen color
On glossy paper

They still live in my heart
Those memories
That is where I see them
Framed by my heart strings

Whether captured by camera
Or by the heart
I can always relive them internally
Those moments

But can those sweet feelings
Be felt again?

October Poetry Writing Month, Day One: Fiery Skies

October Poetry Writing Month is back! Hopefully this month will help me get out of the creative dry spell that I've had since November of last year.

So the poetry prompt for today is clouds. Well, it rained all day, and the skies were a flat shade of grey (ooh, a rhyme! Unintentionally though!), I unfortunately I could not draw inspiration from it. Although, I am sure that many of the participants of OctPoWriMo could write a lovely poem about it! :-)

I decided to refer a photo that I had taken of a sunset from 2013, and draw inspiration from that.
Like I had mentioned, I am still trying to break out of the Writer's Block that had plagued me in November, so I had to listen to a lot of Mae Moore (one of my favorite musical artists) to obtain some creative inspiration. I hope you guys enjoy it.
 Critiques are welcome. I'm trying to improve on my writing as I get back into it.

Fiery Clouds

Now gone are the clear blue bright skies
The sky is on fire, fiery skies shift by
Clouds shift slowly but the flames stay still
Shades of yellow, orange and pink the sky it fills
Burning the remnants of today and minutes before
A way it makes for what tomorrow has in store

- LWV

National Poetry Writing Month Day 3 - Can't Dance Blues

I found another prompt for day 3 of National Poetry Writing month for Wild Violet Literary Magazine, and the prompt was to write a blues poem. I decided to go with this prompt because it seemed like it would be a lot of fun. So early into this challenge, I had forgotten that this month was supposed to be fun, and I was supposed to enjoy writing. This was definitely a fun challenge. I hope that I captured it in this poem. :-)

Can't Dance Blues

I'm known as Two Left Feet Lita
Cause I cannot dance worth a darn
I'm known as Two Left Feet Lita
Cause I cannot dance worth a darn
Cause when I get on that dance floor
I tend to cause a lot of harm

I move the wrong way in a line dance
When to the side I glide
I move the wrong way in a line dance
When to the side I glide
Others shake their heads and say
How could she mess up the Cha-Cha Slide?

 When I get out there on the dance floor
It's sure not a pretty sight
When I get out there on the dance floor
It's sure not a pretty sight
I cannot even do the "Two-Step" right

I'm gonna get my heels and my jacket
Far away from this dance floor I will go
I'm gonna get my heels and my jacket
Far away from this dance floor I will go
I'll just do my own dance at home
The pics on my walls cannot judge me you know

- LWV

OctPoWriMo Day Twenty-Four - Moving, Sewing, Writing Stories

Today's prompt for OctPoWriMo was to pull inspiration from the shows, "So You Think You Can Dance," "Project Runway" and/or "Ink Master." "Project Runway" was a guilty pleasure of mine years ago. I enjoyed seeing what the designers would put together during each weekly challenge. Which is why I enjoy NaPoWriMo and OctPoWriMo, because it's fun to see what people come up with with each prompt, I feel the way about LinkedIn's Poetry Challenge.

Today, I thought that I'd touch on "So You Think You Can Dance," "Project Runway," and "OctPoWriMo" and put it all in one poem, talking about how each different activity can tell a story.

Moving, Sewing, Writing Stories

He dances
So fluidly
Free of all inhibitions
He's just...free
Moving, gliding and grooving
Around the dance floor
Telling his story
Through dance

She sews
A vision of her design in mind
She sketches it out first
To see how it may look
To the eye
Assembled as she cuts fabric
In pieces
And putting them together
Creating shapes in a pattern
Of a gown
Tell her story
Through design

I write
Words dance around my mind
Hours are spent pondering
How to bring them together
What message I want to convey
What mental picture I want to create
Often told in rhyme
Words on a page
Telling my story
Through poetry

- LWV

OctPoWriMo Day Three - Beacuse of You

The prompt for day three is "sweet." The question was, "What brings sweetness to your life?" I spent my commute to work pondering this. What does bring sweetness in my life? Is it desserts? Was it the road trips that I used to take with my friend Joe? Was it the long quiet nature walks I would take during the weekend? I created a list in my mind, and  (all of these things do bring sweetness in my life) I realized what brings the biggest sweetness in my life are my friends who are my fellow AVM Survivors. I call them my AVM Survivor Family. My sixth anniversary as an AVM was on September 15th, and my AVM Survivor Family was there to remind me of who I am, and that I am more than my disability. It helps me to quiet the voices of others that tells me that I am stupid and pathetic.

The poem is written in a Swap Quatrain. I may edit it or add to it since I feel that there's more that could be added to it. Then again, I feel that way about most of the poems that I write.

I hope you enjoy.

Because of You

For so long I've searched for a safe place
Some understanding, a friendly face
A place where one like me can belong
I've searched for a safe place for so long

Much much rejection I always find
When I ache for comfort in this difficult time
If I am worth loving I often question
I always find much much rejection


You come along out of the blue, out of nowhere
Among the crowd where no one seems to care
 You help me to break that façade of strong
Out of the blue, out of nowhere you come along

Throughout all of my faults and flaws you loved me
You opened my heart and eyes so I can see
The person I truly am, which you always saw
You loved me throughout all of my faults and flaws

You helped me to repair my broken being
Find love for myself which was ever so freeing
I learned to see what what was truly there
My broken being you helped me to repair

My disability I am so much more than
There's many qualities I have which are grand
How can I thank you for helping me to see
I am so much more than my disability?

Because of you I have the strength to go on
In this recovery that does seem so long
Now shattered are those lies that say I'm pathetic and obtuse
I have the strength to go on because of you

- LWV

OctPoWriMo Day Two - Two Many Strings

I hope that as this month goes along, I will get into the swing of things. :-) The prompt for today was the number two. I decided to rewrite a poem that I had written in June of this year, which I had planned on rewriting. The poem is "Two Many Strings" inspired by a Gypsy Jazz rendition of "The Breeze and I" by the Hot Club of San Francisco. If you have a Rdio account, you can listen to it through this link.

It is difficult to put such beauty as that song into words. But this is my attempt.

Two Many Strings

Just the two of us with our many strings
Which we bring as we enter the empty auditorium
I with my acoustic and you with your violin
We begin with a simple rhythm, unsure what what we'll play
Nevertheless we play along into our song's beginning
You with a strong stroke against your strings of four
Bringing along the drama and smooth vivacity
Me on my strings of six do I strum along
Bringing along a quiet romance and subtlety
The two of us with each our different sound
At our best together creating one beautiful song
All from our many strings
The melody of our song, so enchanting, so serene
The gentleness of the sound floats around this empty room
Allowing for our imaginations to run free and wild
While continuing the creation of this symphony
It creates a story with no words needed
But how can one put such beauty into words?
These lovely sounds with bringing life to the silence
To prolong this fluid melody is what we wish
As we get lost in this harmonious  moment
Just the two of us with our many strings
Creating one beautiful song

- LWV

OctPoWriMo Day One - Butterfly, Broken Butterfly

It's the first day of October Poetry Writing Month, and as always the first day is a struggle for me! But I managed to get something written. This is a poem based on my AVM experience. After my rupture, it seems like life for me has stopped, and for years I've felt so lost and broken. I had to and am still learning on how to live my life with a broken brain - in a way learning to fly with a broken wing. I still hold on to the hope that I will one day fly.
The idea came about after remembering a trip that I had taken to Skyline Drive, Virginia with my friend, Joe. It was the season of the butterflies which we had gone to see. I noticed among the many butterflies that there was gone with a broken wing, but it still flew. I hope that one day I will too.
 Also, the (green) butterfly is the symbol of the AVM Survivors Support Network. 

Butterfly, Broken Butterfly

Butterfly, broken butterfly
Once on your way to fly so high
A broken wing now your plight
The chance to soar now seems denied

Butterfly with the broken wing
Feels so lost not sure where you're going
That lost feeling such pain that stings
But the hope to soar your heart still clings

Butterfly, broken yet still beautiful
The beauty you still have do you know?
Your wing may be broken it's there still
Your dream to fly will one day be real

Butterfly do you see how far you've come
Through your journey is not yet done
You may still have a long way to go
The course may be bothersome, often slow

But once you get off of the ground
With thriving strength that now abounds
You'll fly twice as higher than before
May you soar, butterfly, may you soar
- LWV

 This photo was from my friend, Barbara H. I don't know the original source.

Beyond Clouds

I'm really sad to have written this poem today. This poem, "Beyond Clouds" is written in memory of a friend, Mike Nichols who had lost his battle with Cancer on Monday, August 4th. My heart goes out to his friends, family and his bandmates of Truth N Tempest. Keep rockin' in Heaven, Mike. You will be missed.

Beyond Clouds
As I take a look up and amongst the cloudy skies
Beyond those clouds I wonder would you be there
No rainfalls here, just the one falling from my eyes
As I take a look up and amongst the cloudy skies
I silently tell myself that this is not forever goodbye
We will meet again someday in the Heavens fair
As I take a look up and amongst the cloudy skies
Beyond those clouds I wonder would you be there
© L. Wilson Aug 2014

Diamond Falls...and an Update!

Well clearly I didn't make it through NaPoWriMo since a couple of things had come up during the month of April. Luckily, the prompts are still up on their website, so I can write poems inspired by those prompts and catch up. I hope to fare better during OctPoWriMo.

Today, I thought that I'd share one of my older poems, "Diamond Falls." That poem was inspired by a 2007 trip that I had taken to Pennsylvania to see the waterfalls at Ricketts Glen and Bushkill. Under the sunny sky the the waterfalls seemed like diamonds as they were glimmering under the sunlight. I thought that I'd post it because it will be published in the anthology, "The View from Here: Poetry to Help You Soar" this fall which has me excited and humbled. With that, I plan to publish a book of poems sometime in the next couple of years. We'll see how that goes.

Enjoy!


Diamond Falls

Little diamond rivulets falling down
Making such a peaceful sound
From rocks to shallow waters it hits
Falling down little diamond rivulets

They shimmer beneath the sun
Traveling down the stream one by one
Kissed by the sunlight as they glimmer
Beneath the sun they shimmer

A placid picture all around
From the falls to the stony grounds
To the trees on a canvas of azure
All around a placid picture


© 2008 L. Verella

Wings of Love

This sonnet was written around 2005, and was inspired by a painting that I had seen online. I hope to locate it so I can post it.


Wings of Love

Flying on the wings of love
Away into the sky with you
We can soar the Heavens above
Over the clouds I'll fly with you

Knowing that you'll never let me fall
Trust will take us to higher heights
With love and trust we'll have it all
In darkness it will be our light

Taking a chance with you I'll see
As your love takes me on a high
How wonderful love can truly be
Until death we are parted by

On the wings of love together
Where love can take us high forever

© 2007 Lita Verella

Upon Narrow Roads

 This poem was inspired by the April 2007 day trip that I had taken with a friend to the Eastern Shore. The narrow roads by the water, and the hold-fashioned houses were very inspiring. I wanted to draw a picture of the area but did not get around to it. Instead, I painted a picture with words. This poem had placed 28th in the Shadow's Ink Poetry Contest, and was published in Shadows Ink Chapbook Series 2, Volume 5.

Upon Narrow Roads

Feeling the chill of the morning breeze
While driving upon these narrow roads
Listening to the songs of the salt seas
As they dance upon sands of gold

Their songs puts my soul at ease
Such a peaceful sound to behold
Feeling the chill of the morning breeze
While driving upon these narrow roads

Passing by me are many lovely scenes
Small towns with buildings of old
Each with a classic story to be told
To this place I'll again make more journeys
Feeling the chill of the morning breeze

© 2008 Lita Verella

A photo of Hoopers Island by the Eastern Shore, Maryland

Caged

Written in 2005, when I was looking to break free of my insecurities.

Caged

Caged, trapped
Keeping myself prisoner
Of my own self doubt
As I see them surround me
Watching, waiting
For me to breakdown
For me to fail

Shackled down by my own insecurities
Caged in, weighted down
By my own negativity
Held back by the rusted bars that surround me
Bars that were created by me

Was I to spend life
Trapped in a world
Full of doubt
I will never grow
I will never learn
I have myself to blame
For the state that I'm in
For I'm the one who lets their ways affect me

I want to break free
But I'm the only one who holds that key
To learn to believe in me
To listen to my heart
And not their lies

And then I'll fly free
Free from these shackles
Free from the doubts and the lies
Everything seems so new and beautiful
Now that I've learned to love me!
Nothing will stop me

And now I fly free

© 2007  L. Verella

Underneath the Mask

Written in 2004. This is about trying to overcome my shyness.

Underneath the Mask

Somewhere deep inside of me
There's a place that wants to let go
And break down all of these walls
And allow people to see the surface below

Yet there is a part of me
That wants to hold back so badly
For I wonder if I open up
Will they use what they know against me?

There's a lot of fear inside of me
Don't know who's being phony or genuine
But I know that I take chances
With every person that I let in

The mask has kept me safe
For many, many years
To cover up my true feelings
My vulnerability, my fears

I want to learn to trust again
In given time I'll let everybody see
Exposing what's underneath the mask
Showing everybody all of me

© 2007 L. Wilson

The Jester

This was written when I was twenty-one, when pondering on how I had felt during my grammar and high school days.

The Jester

See that poor little naive girl walking by
She's the butt of all the jokes and doesn't know
She tries not to hear the laughs see the finger pointing
Deep inside she tries not to let it show

The world seems to laugh when she falls on her back
And no one is on her side it seems
They don't see the hurt she feels inside
Because she's a lowly jester, not a queen

That poor little naive girl
To everyone it seems like she's here to entertain
But funny isn't what she means to be
Still, the world laughs at her just the same

She can't handle all of the taunting, the teasing
The foolish clown she doesn't want to be
She wishes that she could just disappear
From all of the laughing faces that she sees

Somebody always plays the role
In a group a jester there must be
I know this to be true because
That jester that you see is me

© 2005 by L. Verella

 

Photo from Luvdalot Graphics 

Thank you Hyde Park Poetry!